So I recently discovered the most awesomest thing last week. It turns out proven by DNA tests and recent History discoveries, that Eastern European Jews are not really Jews or Semites at all, but were descents of a race called the Khazars, which were a nomadic Mongolian/Chinese race who had a kingdom in Mongolia. The King then decided to convert all his subjects to Judaism and all his subjects scattered across through Russia to Eastern Europe. I am an Eastern European Jew, so guess what that makes me..............

Yup I'm actually Asian bitches!!!!!!!! XDDD I now am officially part of the greatest race on Earth, my dream has finally come true, *cries* All hail the Asians!!!!!!!

Now in addition to Japanese I will now start learning Chinese(or whatever language Mongolians speak.) To get more in touch with my roots.

Nihao XDD.

I am shocked and awed. Bug informed me a few minutes ago that the incredible has happened: Metal Gear Funnies is the winner for the 2008 best movie Tank Award!!!

I think this marks an important time in Newgrounds history. Never before has good truly conquered evil. Never before have a group stood so defiantly for what is right in the face of tyranny... and walked away victorious. On this day, Newgrounds decided that it does not need to be a slave to the parody. It is a site for everyone, regardless of their tastes. Today will be remembered as the day that Newgrounds was liberated forever from the misconception that art cannot be met with popularity.

Don't get me wrong, there were a lot of very deserving movies that were nominated for the award. However, only Metal Gear Funnies had a message that is so relevant to Newgrounds culture. Anyone can succeed; you don't need to be popular or steal Simpsons and Family Guy jokes.

Newgrounds, truly everything, by everyone. May Newgrounds live on forever.

here you go

blink and you'll miss it!

EDIT: I removed the picture of my butt. It was a limited time thing. Don't worry, you'll get chances to see it again soon.

holy shit spiders are so fucking scary

it sucks for me because i really feel bad when hurting anything so i shuffle a broom at it sort of half-assed and then run away.

;_;

i wish the spiders would just stay the FUCK OUTSIDE!!!!!!!

"there were way too many penises" -HippieGothie

"Do the artists that made this video have a dick complex or something?" -Audioguy

"the metal gear awesome videos, classic, hilarious, the new metal gear collaberation, fucking hilarious, this, a sad attempt to copy them IMO" -chowbow

"I knew it would be garbage since rtil and Zerkey were on it" -Newgrundling

"I was just reminded again that someone has a different opinion" -http://uicon.ngfiles.com/1291000/1291 728.gif

"That was straight out GAY! This person has a great obsession with penis...get some REAL friends (Probably a girl friend too but that's not likely going to happen)" -Ryunosuke

"BOOM! OUTTA HERE!" -patrick-3005

"Who ever put this on the front page needs to be fired." -Avenger254

"Like, the cock in the mouth thing, thats funny. the absolute retardedness of the flash all around.... funny. but really, it's just too much for one sitting, I can't finish it. Sorry." -Slave326667

"genrious as always." -MindChamber

"lots of jpgs" -JohnnyUtah

"I could stuff my mouse between my ass cheeks" -hopeless87

"teh" -MessYouUpMac

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/
447514

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/
442187

Check it out if you're looking for a quick diversion. It's worth a laugh and a half I'd say.

Hey everyone! I just wanted to take this moment to whore my most recent submission!

I know a lot of you are big fans of Phoenix Wright so I made a movie about that.

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/
428252

Tell me what you think. I'll be on AIM most of the day.

I've had the sneezes since Thursday night. It sucks because I had to cancel the plans with my girlfriend I had on Friday, and I was looking forward to it for the past month. It's basically like if you had to skip Christmas.

I'd like to take this time to remind everyone that it really sucks to be sick, whether it's a cold, the flu, a sinus infection, or whatever. Although they suck to varying degrees, they all suck a lot. People look back at illness and say, "Oh, it was great, I got to play video games/watch TV as much as I wanted!" but they don't remember that they felt like their skin was melting off and their blood was spraying from their ears and their eyeballs were bursting in the sockets and their nose was squirting brain fluid and spinal fluid was leaking from their butthole. No amount of video games or TV is worth feeling like hell. Those annoying 10-30 second loops in Twilight Princess's music just get more irritating when there's a throbbing pain in your skull.

Oh yeah, another thing, my last final is tomorrow. Fan-loving-tastic. I can't wait to get up at 8 AM and drive through traffic to school, get there at 10, spend 20 minutes looking for a spot and running to get to the test on time. Illness always comes at the worst times. If this was grade school, I would be ecstatic, but in college, missing the final pretty much means failing the course, unless you're SERIOUSLY ill and have a doctor's note confirming that yes, your butt has been severed from your body, and no, you can't live without it.

Bah, better get back to studying before the power goes out again.

Ramen fucking sucks, but I'm eating it anyways. It's cheap, but that's it.

Eating ramen is one of the most depressing things I've ever done, and I do it fairly regularly.

Why do I hate ramen? Well, let me list off a few reasons:

1. Tastes like Chex Mix.
Shut up, you know it's true.

2. Replaces a real meal.
Zero nutrition, zero real ingredients. I'm not sure if the noodles are real. I'll have to do intensive research on this one, but I'll never know for sure. The ramen industry is full of mystery, and the Korean language.

3. The couple of peas and corn kernels floating at the top.
Aim for them or avoid them? Who knows. Why are there only 5-7 of these little crunchy devils? Only the ramen industry and God knows for sure.

4. Makes my glasses fog up.
Fucking annoying.

5. Makes my nose run.
Fucking gross. I have to keep leaning up and wiping my nose so I don't end up eating snot ramen.

Ugh, I could go all day about how shitty ramen is. To make matters worse, I got a "Souper Meal" which means it's big enough to feed the entire population of the Philippines.

Thinking of ramen makes me think of Naruto, which makes me think of a certain game about a certain attourney that a certain someone is writing the script for. How's that going? Aha, just kidding, I know no one reads these things anyways!

Been waiting for a Phoenix Wright flash game? What about a good one? If you have been, I have good news: My next flash is going to be a sweet Phoenix Wright parody/tribute game. This is going to be a joint project between myself and Rina-chan, with Rina-chan writing much of the script. I will of course be adding my particular brand of funny to the mix. Even if it sucks, (which it won't, it'll eat lightning and crap thunder) it'll still be light years better than those Phoenix Wrong bullshit flashes.

It should hopefully be done before the 3rd DS game comes out in America. Buy it, by the way.

Just have to get started.

In other important BillyMonks news: I got Xbox live, so add me if you own any of the next gen consoles.

Oh yeah, post what you want the title of the game to be. Keep in mind the game will probably have some weird perverted themes and pervasive strong language, but no explicit nudity or anything like that.